Habits, addiction and mindset – these things are controlled over by the mind and it is just difficult to untangle yourself from these.
Join Megan as she interviews hypnotherapist Jen Gutfriend on how the process can help shift and create change and live a remarkable life.
1:05 Jen’s journey to hypnotherapy and how it developed into empowerment
9:47 benefits of hypnotherapy
26:42 how people can prepare for hypnotherapy session
What do you love to do? Can you remember the last time you had a hobby that didn’t involve an ulterior motive that didn’t involve money or hustle culture? And that made you feel maybe a little bit vulnerable and afraid to be judged? I want to hear about that story. We all have something that gives us passion. And it’s my goal to re inspire you to find the joy in your life by talking with other people about the things that make them happiest. I’m Megan Brame, this is Anything But Beige. Let’s go.
Hi, my name is Jen, and I love hypnotherapy.
This is going to be such a cool episode because I am super fascinated with not only just hypnotherapy but your story. So I wanna talk about the beginning and how you got into hypnotherapy, how it developed into empowerment and all that stuff. So I guess let’s just start at the beginning so that I stop rambling.
No, that’s great. Yes. So I always say, my story started on September 11th, was it? Yeah. September 10th, 2011. And that was the day I got married. So you know what? Your wedding day is supposed to be the happiest day of your life. And I remember waking up that morning, and the first thought that popped in my head is I’m making the biggest mistake of my life. But then in the next thought, I said but I can’t do anything about it because I’m going to disappoint everybody. So I literally walked down the aisle to a man who was in love with another woman, still and made sure I knew it like he didn’t keep that secret. And he was really only marrying me because he needed a replacement for his mom. He wanted someone to support him and look after him and cook and clean and take care of him. He didn’t really want a wife. He wanted to have a wife like a maid and a mother but I married him anyway because I didn’t want to disappoint others and because this is something that took me a long time to admit. But honestly, I didn’t think I could get better. I thought so little of myself I literally at the time thought I’m just lucky that somebody wants to marry me like I should just be lucky that someone’s even asked me to marry me because I didn’t feel I was worthy of love. So I got married and things just got worse in the marriage. He assumed now because we were married, he could do whatever the hell he wanted and he did, and he treated me like garbage, and I was trying to be everything to everybody. I had a business at the time that kept me super busy. I was trying to look after him. His parents lived close by. I was trying to do things for them. I was trying to do things for my family. I was trying to do things for my friends. I was everybody that, like anybody who needed it, and I was that people pleaser and I was just being run off my feet and I started getting sick and I was exhausted all the time and I just all I wanted to do was sleep. But I just kept pushing myself and then when sleep came, I couldn’t sleep because my mind wouldn’t shut off and I just was in this like go, go, go And then I was in pain. All the time and I ended up in the hospital getting extras one day because the pain was just getting so severe. And I remember standing there and they’re getting ready to x-ray me and I remember the room started to spin, and I just thought to myself, If I just close my eyes for a second, it’ll stop. Well, I closed my eyes and I passed out. I actually hit my head on the concrete floor, got a concussion, and that to me was kind of that wake up call of like your body’s shutting down. And I’ve seen some doctors after that to see what was going on, and they’re like, we don’t know what’s happening. All we know is your body’s shutting down and we don’t know what to do about it. The doctors were like one doctor actually told me. He said, Oh, passing. It’s no big deal. Just put your head between your legs on like the hip. Yeah, and they kept dismissing me and my concerns and the things I said and they’re like they just wouldn’t listen to me. And things were getting worse in my marriage. It got the point where my husband wasn’t having sex with me. He didn’t want anything to do with me. I found out he was emotionally cheating on me with his ex. He was talking to her instead of talking to me all the time. He literally would come home, sit on his computer and watch. Like start the television, would barely say two words except for “where’s dinner”. And I found out later that he was still talking to his ex and I was financially supporting him. I was taking care of everything, like I was doing it all. And after I passed out, it was just kind of that wake up of what the hell are you doing with your life? And I wish I could say that that’s the moment. I was like, I’m done like I’m walking away. But it wasn’t, it’s still like I kind of got thinking that okay I got to do something. But I was still scared because I still was so worried about what other people would think, and I didn’t want to be considered a bitch and I didn’t want to. I was worried about, you know, what are people going to think? Because that was how I ran my whole life, I was worried about what others thought of me and making them happy. So I started kind of discovering myself. Why am I not happy? What’s going on? Why did I allow this to happen to myself? And things got worse and worse and worse. And thank God at five months of marriage, I walked away. Just things got so bad, but it took a lot of courage. It took me months like I left in February. I wanted to leave in November. I was married in September, but from November when I decided when I had, like, almost like when I passed out of the hospital, I wanted to do it. But there were always those excuses like, Oh, well, Christmas is coming and I can’t do it. It’s Christmas or Oh, it’s the new Year. Like I kept making these excuses, and it’s because I was scared and I didn’t know what I was doing. I didn’t know how, and I was still so worried about upsetting people, and it’s funny because I didn’t even tell anybody like I didn’t tell my best friend. I didn’t tell my family how I felt and finally, I finally came out to them and I’m like, I am miserable and they were so understanding there like it’s okay, we’re here to help you. Whatever you need from us will support you. And I was like, wow, like, okay, I guess I’m not as big of a disappointment as I thought. So I got up the courage and I left in February, and it was the best thing I did. I’m not saying the road was perfect from there, and life magically was better. I had a lot of shit I had to work through. Like I had allowed myself to marry someone who treated me like absolute garbage. And he wasn’t the first relationship. The person I was with before him was emotionally and verbally abusive. And it even becomes physically abusive at the end of our relationship. Thank God I was smart enough to get out, but note before he left some bruises on me. And it was this cycle for me of going over these same things. And after I left, it was like, Why? Why am I doing this to myself? Why do I hate myself? Before I met my husband, I had dieted my way down to a size 3,4, I was skinny. I had worked out. And you know what? All I felt was fat, ugly. I still thought at size four that I was fat and ugly. And when I was with my husband and he wouldn’t have sex with me, he made me feel that way as well. He made me feel undesirable. So I had all these feelings of not being enough of not being worthy of not being pretty, not being smart enough. And I had to figure out why. Because as long as I felt that way, I was going to keep holding myself back. And luckily, I found the book called The Big Lead by Gay Hendricks. And I decided that when I left my marriage, I was going to do anything and everything to change. And I was reading all these self help books, and I found this one and it was like this light bulb went on inside of me and it said, your outer beliefs come from your inner belief. So if you don’t like what’s happening on the outside, you have to look at what’s on the inside and that was like a huge lightbulb moment. So I started trying to figure out what’s going on in my mind. What are my unconscious beliefs that are making me feel this way? And then that’s what led me into hypnosis and hypnotherapy is I wanted to uncover this and that I wasn’t doing it any other way. It wasn’t able to uncover this. And I remember my first hypnotherapy session. We were wanting to figure out why I didn’t feel enough. Like, Why did I? Why was I people pleaser, or why was I doing all these things? And at the age of two days old, I heard that I wasn’t enough. I heard my parents, my mom, talking to a friend as I was in the crib decider, saying how difficult her delivery was and how difficult her pregnancy was and how difficult the birth was and how difficult of a baby I was. So at two days old, I created this belief that I was difficult and that I wasn’t enough and that I had to prove myself to people and that if I wanted attention and love, I had to prove myself. So I spent my whole life trying to prove myself. I was a star athlete in school. I was You know what an honorable student I was an overachiever. I did everything, but I never felt like it was enough. So I just kept doing more and trying to do everything I could to try and make everyone happy. But it was never enough for me. So it was never enough. And by understanding that by going through hypnosis and understanding that I literally cut off that belief right then and there, like all of a sudden I came out and I felt enough. I felt like, Oh, my God, like this is such bullshit going on in my mind that has created this belief. And it was so powerful and it changed my life. And I’ve been using hypnotherapy since to remove these blocks that I hit, You know, as I run up against, because in life we’re always gonna run into blocks and beliefs that cause us to have this unhealthy belief and I keep working through that. And after I had my big transformation, I realized how much I loved hypnotherapy. And so I went and actually got certified myself because it was so life changing for me. And I thought if I could add this to my coaching business, imagine the transformations I could help my clients through if it did this for me and I went and I got certified and it did, like, I transform people’s lives and it’s quick and it’s amazing and it just I love what I do. And it’s just absolutely phenomenal to see these people shift and uncover these stupid little stories that we tell ourselves that are causing all these big issues and how simple it is to just rewrite these stories.
That’s so beautiful. And you know, it’s funny when we’re talking earlier, and it seems like we have a very similar past with just having to be the overachieving teenager and not enough. And that’s good. No, go for it. I was just like, I I love that you found this avenue through hypnotherapy. So I guess what made you try hypnotherapy? Because I think that it has an unfair stigma to it, and I think that a lot of people don’t understand hypnotherapy and don’t understand what it means to be hypnotized. So like, how did you get through? What made you interested in it? And how did you start to utilize it as a regular self care tool?
Yeah. So, like everyone, I kind of had this stigma against hypnotherapy. And it’s funny because my first introduction to hypnosis was those bar shows I remember in college. Those guys came to our town and my friends convinced me to get up on stage. So I did. And I remember clucking like a chicken and doing all this craziness. So like many people, when someone mentioned hypnotherapy, I was kind of like, Oh, but you know, what does this fall about? Like, how is this gonna benefit me like, Are you gonna be able to like others? Tell me to do something I don’t want to do. Like, how does this work? Like? I want to be conscious. And so I met someone who was very forthcoming about it. I met this new person. She was a hypnotherapist. We became friends. And I happened to mention that you know what? I’ve always kind of been curious, but at the same time, nervous and I’m like, I was at a point in my healing journey where I was stuck. I kept hitting these roadblocks that I couldn’t get through because I couldn’t understand where they were coming from, so I was kind of working through them. But they kept popping up, over and over and over again, even though I thought I had worked through them and I was trying to figure out why. And this person said, Well, hey, you know what? How about hypnotherapy? It can help with that. And like many people, I asked all the questions like, Can you make me do things I don’t want to do? And she was really good and she was very open, answered all my questions, and I finally thought, You know what? What’s the harm? Like I am at this roadblock, I can’t get through it can’t get any worse. Like, just give this a try. And I’ve always been very open minded about things and about trying new things. I’ve done my spiritual journey, I’ve done Ricky. I’ve done a state of healing. I’ve done all these other alternative modalities and been really open. So I’m like, Well, this is just one more thing to try, You know? What if it doesn’t work so well, Like at least I gave it a try, So I did. And it was magical, Like I was awake the whole time, which people don’t understand. Like you are conscious during this whole thing. You’re just It’s like being in a really deep, meditative state to the point where you can access your subconscious, So you’re still present. I was still talking. They were asking me questions, and I was just able to go back to those stories that I told myself to those times in my life where I had created these unhealthy beliefs that had got me to where I was today. And once I experienced it, I realized how profound it was. And that’s why I think I’m so open minded. Especially even now. It’s like, Okay, well, what if I had been closed minded and hadn’t tried this? Where would I be with my life? I wouldn’t be where I am. And yeah, so with hypnotherapy, it’s just you’re going deep. You’re going so relaxed. You’re so easy going. And it’s just accessing the mind, because the thing is, our subconscious mind is like a hard drive in a computer. It stores every memory. Every moment of our life is stored in the subconscious. So even if we can’t remember those moments, they’re stuffed away there. And up to 50% of our beliefs are created by the age of five. In our mind, the way we act, the way we think the way we do things is created. 50% of those beliefs are created before the age of five. And who can actually remember much from that age frame?
Yeah, And then by 18 we have about 90% of our beliefs. So by the time we’re told we’re adults and can be our own person and make our own thoughts and feelings, we’ve already had 90% of our programs. We’ve only got 10% left to fill in with what we want to fill in with. So by time we’re adults. We’ve been programmed to be this way to think this way. So I like using money as an example because everybody resonates with money. So if you have a problem with money, you either spend too much. You don’t spend enough, think back if you heard your parents say things like money doesn’t grow on trees, What do you think we’re made of money, you know? Where do you think that money comes from? Rich people are evil. Like, how many times do you hear that as a child? And the thing is, If you hear that enough, you plug that belief into your subconscious mind and it goes in the background working, saying okay, you think money is evil, so we can’t let you have too much money because you’re not evil. So we can’t let you have that or Oh, money doesn’t grow on trees. So you know what? You’re never gonna make money. You’re never going to be successful because money isn’t available to you, so these things you hear at a young age, they’re shoved in the back, your mind, but they affect your outer world. But then you don’t realize that they’re there. And that’s where hypnosis is so powerful, it allows you to go back and say, What belief? Or what thing that I hear is creating this belief. That’s you know, you’re saying the money thing. And of course, I just started thinking about, what did I hear about when I was a kid with money? Because my family was super still is like super bad with money, and I didn’t actually learn that credit card interest was a bad thing until I met my husband, who comes from a family that is better with money and like, they pay everything off. And I was like, People do that. What do you talk like? I thought you just accepted credit card interests. And so it’s funny to hear you say that and then kind of reflect on, yes, the 90% of your thoughts and your beliefs thing is crazy and scary. How much of that is during such a tumultuous formative time? You know, that’s fascinating. How do you if you have these beliefs, you have your 90% formed by 18 and you’re starting to realize that maybe the things I’ve learned are wrong or wrong for me? How do you recommend people start addressing something like that? Yeah. So the biggest thing is to uncover why? Because a lot of times we see the outcome we don’t like, but we don’t understand why we have that outcome. So the biggest thing is to start understanding the root cause because you can’t heal the result if you don’t understand the cause of that result. So it’s understanding where does this belief come from? And once you understand it, and once you could look at it from adult eyes because of times when you see these things like me two days old, hearing that I wasn’t enough, now that I’m in my thirties looking at that, I can say, Oh, well, I can see why I created that belief. But now I know it’s bullshit, like I know that it’s not, it’s nothing to do with me. It was my mom’s own issues. I was perfectly, you know, beautiful and healthy and enough as a little baby, and I can see that now, and I can see how that is. But we carry so much emotional baggage because of those things. Like I cried and cried and cried through that session. Well, I talked about it because there’s so many emotions and that’s the thing. It’s not always the thoughts. It’s the motions that we carry with those beliefs. So if you felt worthless and useless and unloved, there’s so much sadness and anger there that are built up inside of you.
At the end of every month, I’m planning to do a Q and A special answering all of your questions, either about what we just talked about or anything in between. I am happy to hear back from you and help you out if I can. If you could do me a favor and go to beige.beautybizpro.com/askmegan, you can leave your comment or your question. I’ll be able to answer it on the next Q and A episode again, beige.beautybizpro.com/askmegan. Thank you so much. I look forward to hearing from you.
That you need to let go up until you release those emotions. You can’t process that feeling and move past it, so it’s looking at it from the adult eyes. It’s processing through the emotions. It’s crying, it’s getting angry and it’s a lot of times I get my clients to say what they would have said back then. You know what at two days old or three years old, you couldn’t say anything because it’s an adult figure. So a lot of times you’re told that you’re something said to you, You’re put down, Someone says something to you and at three, you can’t say, Well, I think you’re an asshole and I don’t believe that You can’t say that, but now you can. So now I get the people to say, What would you wish you could have said? And it’s powerful, like the stuff these people say and they say what’s on their mind and they swear and they tell the person exactly how they felt. And it’s like this waitlist off your shoulder and you’re like, Oh, my God, I just feel so much better, so much better now. I got this off my chest. I said what I needed to say and I can let it go and then you do. You just let it go.
That’s beautiful. I just, how does somebody start recognizing that they have an issue? One that they have an issue, and to that hypnotherapy might be a good way for them to address it.
Yeah, so there’s a few different ways. One of them is, If you find, you keep making the same mistakes, so say you know What for business for Say, you’re working on your new business. you wanted to be successful, but you keep making the same mistakes. You keep blowing, money, you make the wrong investments. You know what? Um or even in relationships, that’s another big one. You know what you say. Oh, I want this happy, healthy relationship, but you keep dating those same assholes over and over again. It’s like, same person, different face. And those are the patterns. If you see these negative patterns showing up in your life, it means there’s a negative belief that’s causing those negative patterns. So once you start identifying those negative patterns, that’s when you want to start going inside and looking at and going. Okay, why is this pattern here? And then what is the belief that’s creating that negative pattern?
It’s like, just remind me what we were talking about before like the negative mindset and like addressing it may be that it sounds to me that forgive me if this is silly billy, It sounds to me that hypnotherapy, in a way, is a fast track of therapy. Would you agree with that?
Definitely, yeah so the hypnotherapy, form of hypnotherapy I’m trained in was actually created by a psychologist, one of the top psychologists in the UK. And so what we do is yeah, we’re going into your subconscious, we’re dealing with things right there. So we use, um, some forms of therapy we use, some cognitive behavior therapy. We use NLP. We use little bits of therapy techniques while in hypnosis. And that’s the thing, is it? It’s fast. Tracks your process. So what could have taken you like for me? I did therapy for two years after my divorce and in two sessions with a hypnotherapist, I worked through more than I did in two whole years of therapy. I was able, Yeah, I was able to process all those emotions that I couldn’t with a therapist. I was able to process and work through them, see where things came through and release them, because when I found therapy a lot of the talking. It was great. I could get things off my chest, but I wasn’t actually releasing those feelings or releasing those emotions that are truly feeling them. I’m still kind of holding them in, whereas the hypnotherapy forces you to deal with them and to address them. But it’s in a safe way, like you feel comfortable. You feel like you need to let those go. And throughout the whole process we’re talking to you, we’re interacting with you. So I’ve had people where I’ve asked him, Are you ready to let that belief go? And they say no and it’s like, Okay, well, why why can’t you not release that? So then we start understanding why? Maybe it’s a safety thing. It’s been keeping you safe. It’s been protecting you. It’s like, Okay, it’s been protecting you. But what also, is it holding you back from doing? Is it worth it? Is it worth what it’s been doing, or are you done needing protection and can it let it go now? And they’re like, Yeah, yeah, I guess I don’t need that protection anymore. I can protect myself now. I’m strong enough to do that so you can let it go.
Do people usually replace that something else, or do they just completely dissolve that need for that safety? Whichever that that thought was providing.
Either or some people need to replace that with something else and other people can just let it go. It depends on your mind and how long you’ve had it and what it’s done. So sometimes we can give that, but leaving a new structure, a new reason or a new something else to do. Doesn’t have to hold you back. So if it was meant to keep you safe, well, maybe we could give it a different job. Maybe it could do something else in your life instead. And a lot of people, they’re just willing to let it go. They see the negative consequence that it has on their life, and they just don’t wanna hold on to that anymore. And once you’re willing to let it go, it just dissolves. And yes, we replace it with new thoughts. That’s another thing is so at the end of the session, once we’ve uncovered all your beliefs that have been holding you back, we then put new belief systems in you. So the end of the session is telling you what you wanted to hear. So and with mine, I’m very personal. So before the session even starts, depending on whatever our session is about, I had people tell me in their own words, What is it that you really want? If you got rid of this block, what would your life look like? And I get them. Tell me how it would look, how they would feel, how they would act. And then at the end of the session, I put those beliefs into them. And I say, You know, now that that’s all gone, your life looks like this. You feel like this, you acting like that. And then they take that portion and they listen to it for 21 days after two just further ingrained those beliefs. So that becomes second nature instead of I’m no good with money, they now believe I’m amazing with money. Money comes to me easy, you know what money flows to me every day, Like it’s affirmations on steroids is what I call it, because that’s what it is. We’re taking these affirmations and were directly in putting them into your subconscious mind and saying, this is what you believe. This is what you’re gonna have. We’re just gonna put it there for you.
So I want to talk about the workflow of a session with you. So we talked about someone realizing that they keep doing the same thing over and over again. And they either are a little bit cognizant of why, or they’re really not understanding why they’re keeping doing this. So how do you recommend people prepare for hypnotherapy? What is the hypnotherapy session like? Like, what can they expect? And when should someone say like okay now I’m ready. I need Jen’s help.
Sure so a precession is pretty open and that so the biggest thing is just knowing what you want to change. That’s the biggest thing coming to it. Because I need to know what to ask your mind. So I’ll ask you. What question do you wanna ask me? So I’m not just going to say Well, Hey, why do you have money? Blocks or? Hey, why do you hate yourself? Because that may not resonate with you. So I get you to tell me. What is it that you want to shift? What do you wanna uncover? What is the belief? So then you tell me exactly. You know, if you say I want to know why I don’t feel enough or I want to know why I keep getting into these shitty relationships. So we get you into hypnosis, we do the deepening. We get you into that nice, relaxed state. And I asked you just that I asked you to go back and I asked him, Take me back to the first time You created this belief where the root cause of this belief came from. And then I tell the mind exactly what you told me and say go back to the root cause of the moment that you created this belief that you couldn’t have healthy relationships or the moment you create his belief that you couldn’t be wealthy or successful. And your mind takes me back there and we open up this scene and we see where it happens. And then that’s where we go through talking to the other person, saying, What’s on your mind? Feeling the emotions, feeling how you felt? Because it’s not just about the scene. It’s about how you felt about that scene, what emotions were going through your mind, and I go through multiple scenes. We don’t just go to one because a lot of times it’s not just one moment in life, and I find a lot of times it’s sometimes at first or second scene isn’t the true root cause maybe it’s that third scene. And sometimes if I need to even go back to 1/4 if I feel like we’re still not at that root cause, and I’ll keep digging until we find, until I know I’m very intuitive. So I always know what to ask. And I always know, kind off when to stop and when we’ve got to that route issue and then we work through, you know, changing your belief system. We work through rebuilding those beliefs into something healthier. And there’s so many other tools as well, like finding out like I said, You know what? If that belief had a purpose in your life, to protect you or for some other reason, what was that purpose? Can we give that another purpose? It’s really going through, and there’s so many tools I pull out in each session so different, depending on the issue and the person and what comes up because every once in a while, sometimes scenes won’t come up at first. You’ll get to that first one of people like I don’t see anything and that’s okay. Sometimes you don’t. So then it’s ok. So what are you feeling? Or there’s other techniques I can use. So I’ve never met somebody where we can’t get to the root cause. And it’s not always the same process for everybody, but we can always get to something we can always uncover a belief. I had some one person. This is very common with first responders, people with PTSD because they’ve learned to block emotions. They’ve learned to block things out. So I did a session with someone with PTSD. She was the first responder, and her scenes kept pulling black and black . So then we went back to doing some inner child work, and I just asked her, What are you feeling like? What are those heartbreaking things? What are those sad feelings that you feel and she goes, Well, everyone’s going to die. And I was like, Oh, okay. And I said, Why is everyone gonna die? And she’s like, because I’m not good enough, and I was like, Wow, so it didn’t even take a scene. All it did was just feeling into that inner child and feeling why, and it’s just, yeah, that’s the thing. It just shifts and changes in his transformation. And then, like I said, then the recording it’s just as important? It’s kind of like that What a new habit takes 21 days. And that’s why the recording is so important, because it keeps implanting that because as you go out into the real world and you start going out and as this amazing new person with these new thoughts, life is going to throw things at you to test you and to try things out. So by further and draining these thoughts and beliefs in these affirmations into your mind, it just keeps you feeling that new feeling and keeps that going in your mind so that when things come at you, you could better handle them.
How do you not take that in yourself during those sessions of like you just had the first responders say, Well, everyone’s going to die because I didn’t do enough like, How do you protect yourself in these kinds of really tumultuous and emotional situations?
Yeah, so I’ve been an impact my whole life. I didn’t realize that I didn’t actually realize that till after my divorce. And I started on my self care journey because growing up, it’s funny I never talked about this much before, but I dealt with some depression when I was a teenager and I never got help. I denied it because in my family, that was a no no, like in my family, you didn’t talk about that stuff. It’s funny just last year I found out that my grandmother had mental health issues and my family had put her in a mental institution for a while. But I just found this out. I will be 37 years old here this year, and I just found that out because my mom was of the belief that if you don’t talk about it, then it doesn’t happen. So like her sister was a drug addict, but we never talked about his children. We never had the drug talk. We never had the sex talk in my mom’s mind. You just don’t do it. You don’t talk about it. You just don’t do it. And the same with mental health. And so I found myself at 14 going through depression. She took me to the doctor. He asked me, Are you depressed? My mom’s there and I’m going. No, I’m not depressed. No way. No, that’s not me, because to me it was a stigma in our household, that mental health. So what I found out, though, later on in my life is that depression came from feeling too much because I was a people pleaser. I wanted so desperately to make everybody else happy, but I could feel how everyone felt. I could feel disappointments. I could feel anger. I could feel all these emotions flooding me that I didn’t know how to do it. There’s so much going on inside of me that wasn’t mine, but I didn’t know how to process it and I assumed it was mine because I didn’t know any better. So when I started my self care journey, one of the biggest things was learning how to manage this energy and not to take it on. And I admit I don’t do a lot of sessions in a day because in a way they are training, but they don’t. I don’t take it on anymore. I don’t take on people’s issues. I feel it with them. I help them through it, and it can make me sad. And it can do those things. But I don’t let it make me change. And then at the same time, I see the transformation. So, yes, we go through these sad, hard times, but then I see how happy and wonderful and amazing they feel after. And then that just lifts me right up. So it is a little bit draining, but it doesn’t. I don’t allow it to take over any more like I would have in the past.
It’s beautiful and incredibly healthy, very strong mental health. When you have a client and you give them, you know, this session, the recording for 21 days. What other recommendations do you have for people to work too? I guess work through this. Like, I see your vision board behind you and I have mine over here. And so do you recommend doing visualizations or things like that? In addition, Like, what is the full tool kit after a hypnotherapy session?
Yeah. So the recordings are really important listening to that at least once a day keeping on that. But I’m also a huge proponent of journaling. To me, journaling changed my life. It’s one of the best ways to access your subconscious mind without hypnotherapy, because there’s something about writing pen to paper, like the actual state of writing that you can actually access a different part of your brain when you start. So I get people if they can, to journal every day, and it doesn’t have to be big and expensive. It’s just getting those thoughts out, especially negative feelings, because if you’re not expressing the negative, you’re not allowing the negative emotions to move through you. They stay stagnant and when they stay stagnant, there’s this quote expressions that cannot release themselves and emotions cause the body to weep. Something like that in that weeping is when we hold in emotions, it actually causes physical pain. So muscle pain. I’ve seen cancer. I’ve seen people cure cancer through hypnotherapy by addressing the root cause. What was that emotion that you haven’t been willing to let go that once they let that go, the cancer disappears and goes into remission, so physical pain, physical illness, disease can all be expressions of emotions that you’re holding in and won’t let go. So through journaling, people are allowed to express those things in a healthy way. They can say how they feel. I’m also big on letting emotions out and telling people to feel things like If you’re angry, something happened to you at work or in your family. You know, you can’t always say how you feel, that person you can always get angry and mad in that moment. But you can later on during the day. You can feel those emotions. You can let them flow through you because if you don’t let them flow through, they build up like a volcano and eventually they are going to blow. And a lot of times they blow on somebody who doesn’t deserve it. Someone will say something usually like a husband or a friend, someone who you feel safe with. They say one little thing that triggers all those built up emotions, and it all just comes spewing out on them and then you feel bad. Then you start with that cycle of Oh, I shouldn’t have done that bad. Me, I can’t say anything. I’m just hurting people and then you start bawling it all up again. until it happens again. So learning to express those things, journaling expresses yourself is really important on a daily basis.
And one thing which will be our goods equated to this is your a lot of the things you’re saying about how, um you know, Oh, I’m hurting people or, you know, this isn’t, uh I’m me trying to be betters having consequences for other people, and it’s basically like being polite and being a people pleaser. So I want to talk about your workbook and your guide, your people pleaser to help.
Yeah, I should say Yeah. So I created this guide called The People Pleasers Guide to Saying No Without the Guilt, because as people pleasers and as the nice girl, we have a hard time saying no to others because we’re so worried about what they think. Or well I upset them. Or will they get mad? Or will they won’t think I’m the nice girl anymore they won’t like me. So I created this free guide, and it’s a five day mini course, and it helps you to start uncovering not to have chemotherapy. But it’s questions, journaling questions to help you start uncovering why you have these beliefs. Why do you have to please others? Why are you afraid to say no? And then it’s simple daily action tips that you can do to start building up that confidence muscle that gets you closer to feeling confident enough to say no. So it’s kind of a mixture of action and subconscious mind set work. And by the end of the five days, you just start feeling more confident in your ability to start saying no one you really want to because we as women, say yes, too much when we really shouldn’t. And then we get exhausted and burnt out and we don’t know why. And it’s because, you know, we just don’t know how to say that. Simple little words.
Yeah, so where can people find this guide?
They can find it at: .
And I linked to it in the show. It’s of course, but if people want to find out more about empowering themselves through hypnotherapy, how did they get in touch with you?
Yeah, so you can find me on social media on Instagram and Twitter and Facebook at Live Your Remarkable Life. Or you can find me on my website: http://www.liveyourremarkablelife.com.
Let’s talk about your podcast too.
Yes, I have a podcast also called Live Your Remarkable Life. And it is a combination of stories from successful women who weren’t always successful, and it highlights their struggles to get to where they are. And the lovely Megan has been on my podcast as well, and then I’ve got some solo podcast episodes where I share tips and tools. I talked about hypnotherapy. I talk about journaling. I talked about all kinds of things that will help you get closer to becoming the woman you wanna be to becoming more empowered and to be able to live your remarkable life.
Love it and like I said, good branding. This was so super interesting. Thank you so much. And I really appreciate it.
Yeah, thank you for having me. I had so much fun.
You’re welcome to come along for the company. Yeah. Hey, guys, Megan here, before you go, I would love to ask a favor of you. It is so helpful to have reviews on new podcasts as it really helps iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify. All of those guys find out that you’re really enjoying it and that they should show it to new people. So if you wouldn’t mind just leaving a quick review about what you think about the podcast, I would really appreciate it. Thank you so much again. I’ll talk to you next week on the next episode.